Hey hey hey
I’ve finally got a move in date! Woohoo! Everything is now booked, paid for and I’m ready to roll. Almost…
I’m still really hesitant. I’m equally excited but I’ve mentioned before about how I want to cocoon my little family and hide them away so I don’t want to leave them.
I AM SO EXCITED. All I really need to do now is organise a collection/delivery date for my stuff and buy a bed. Oddly enough the bed part is the hardest.
You’d think buying a bed would be simple. It’s not. I’ve never bought a bed. I don’t know what bed I want. Do I want a double? Kingsize? Go all out and get a queen? Do I want a divan? A headboard? A futon? A four poster? Do I want it in grey? Or champagne? Leather? Suede? Wood? Oak? Pine? Mahogany? Iron? Vintage? An Argos £100 special? Or a treat myself £1,200 beauty? A Disney Princess bed? One with drawers? One without drawers?
Then I have the joy of trying to get it delivered on time. I arrive too late in the day to just go and get one and my friend doesn’t have much holiday to spare to take off and wait for a delivery. So I need to find a shop that lets me choose my delivery date.
Why is it so hard? Why am I so picky? Why can’t I make simple decisions? Woe is me right? RIGHT?
In other news I’m due to get Nigel’s bollocks lopped off before my departure. Which will be fun considering we live an hour’s walk away from the vet and no longer have a car…And he’s hardly a Jack Russell so carrying him home is kinda out the question. Unless one of you can easily lift a 31kg dog? If so, will you fly over and carry him home? I might invest in a wheelbarrow. He’ll be sedated and sleepy after his op so I can fill it with pillows, plonk him in and wheel him home. Actually that’s a pretty good idea. Will give me a great workout too as there’s a few hills to go up/down.
I’d like to announce something amazing, slightly scary and massively shocking. You better be sitting down: I haven’t drank any Coke for about 5 days. None.
I kind of went on a bender. I fell off the wagon of 1 glass a day. I couldn’t help myself, I’d had a really stressful week, things were playing on my mind and I needed to blot it out somehow and Coke was my only option. None of you understand how good that can feels in your warm sweaty hands when it’s so cold it’s wet. It feels like God has reached down from Heaven and placed a tin angel in your palms. Then when you open it you get that beautiful cracking sound and the ffssst noise as it opens. It sprays you a little but you don’t care because it’s such a glorious moment. Then you take that first glug and it’s oh so cold and so refreshing. A bit burny because there’s so many bubbles but it’s a pleasurable burn. Then you have a little hiccup because of said bubbles and everything wrong in the world seems right. There is no good or evil, only sweet nothing and you feel at one with the Universe. Life if peaceful. Then you take another sip, and another, and another. Til it’s gone. And the can is empty. And so is your heart. You feel sad. Then the sugar rush kicks in and everything is a bit floaty and bouncy til it wears off and the nothingness returns. So you buy another can just to relive the sweet sweet joy in hearing that ffssst noise once more…
I need serious psychological help.
I basically had about 6 cans in one day and woke up the next day with a migraine so bad it fucked me over for 2 days. So I decided that I probably shouldn’t do that again and swore off Coke for a bit.
It’s a bit awkward now isn’t it? I should probably mention my boobs. My boobs are big.
I quite enjoy blogging now. I used it as my little venting area. It stops me punching people. It’s therapy. You are my therapist.
One thing I could punch people over is when they start questioning me and my job. Mainly WHEN I do my job. And by job I mean camming. Nearly everyone who questions never has a clue about camming and has never cammed. So already when they start questioning I’m pissed off because they jump to conclusions.
“I don’t get why you don’t cam all day and then quit” Ok. First off. What. Secondly. Ha.
As much as I enjoy it it IS draining, sometimes you’ll get someone in who opens up to you and you sit there talking to them for nearly two hours. The conversation isn’t all “ooh I want to cum on your shoulder blades bb” these conversations are real, genuine and deep. Some stick with me for a very long time and completely change my outlook on things. And I don’t mean in a negative way, far from it. But it’s draining. It’s also, for me, physically tiring. My shows obviously centre around my boobs. They’re heavy. And I mean HEAVY. So after an hour’s worth of jiggling and massaging my arms ache. I don’t want to put on a half arsed show for people because my arms are tired. People are paying for a show, they’re getting a fucking show. To me, working all day will affect that. I’ll be tired, pissed off and aching and these guys won’t get what they’re paying for which isn’t fair. And it’s not just me either. I have so much respect for those girls who can wank themselves off for 12hrs a day. I don’t know how they do it. I really don’t.
Then there’s the earning aspect of it. I KNOW what hours work for me. I’ve built up a list of “regulars”. They know roughly when I’ll be on. Just because SquirtingJane can make $400 at midday doesn’t mean I will. And I don’t. My best hours are early mornings, late afternoons and evenings around 8-11pm. So I stick to those times. It works. For ME.
This is another reason why I adore @BritishBrooke so much, she’s the ONLY one who understands where I’m coming from.
Ohhh my coffee is cold. Waah.
Oh! You know how I’ve been into films lately? I’ve watched a few more since I last did my mini reviews.
Snow White & the Huntsman: Surprisingly good. DullFace only had a few speaking lines so she didn’t annoy me like she did in Twillight. And I fell in love with Chris Hemsworth. Charlize Theron was so good too, she’s so beautiful I could cry. The dwarves were brilliant too, I’d def watch again.
The Great & Wonderful Oz (I think I made that title up tbh, I can’t remember the actual name): So good! I really loved it, and I HATE The Wizard of Oz. The little china doll is so cute! And anything with James Franco in a top hat gets my thumbs up. Plus Mila Kunis is in it <3
Gangster Squad: Dull. Switched off after 30mins even though the Gosling was in it. Weird.
New Year’s Eve: OH MY GOD. I was after something mind numbing to be honest but it turned out to be a pretty good little film. I cried throughout the last 20mins and I’m now fully in love with Zac Efron.
The Lucky One: I only watched this because it had Zac Efron in it. It was alright. Nothing special.
21 and Over: I watched an abysmal copy. And I mean ABYSMAL. Every 10 mins we had to squint to make out vague facial features but even then it was a pretty good film. Was quite funny but not being able to see every now and then meant you missed a lot of the jokes. I’ll def have to get the DVD.
And with that I’m gone.
Oh PS. Before I go, a little bit of plugging